Note to Self

Double and maybe triple check what pictures are on your camera before you turn it on when your dad is looking over your shoulder. That first picture should not be a boob shot. Luckily there was a bra involved. And to cap it off dad says "going to post that on MySpace?"

Message to Men

To all of the men out there....

Men, do you date a girl with naturally curly hair? Let me give you a few tips. As much as you love to take a shower with your lady right before your sweet love making...that can make for some disastrous hair situations for us. Maybe give us a few minutes to put some product on our hair after we get out of the shower? We might even appreciate a few more minutes for some quick blow drying. Don't be offended if we aren't up for snuggling as we might need some time afterwards to repair our hair. Or if we mumble some lame excuse about having to get up early the next morning therefore we aren't going to stay the night.

So the next time you wake up after a night of some hot sex, you won't wonder why our hair is up in a ponytail will you? That is just a kind gesture on our part to keep you from waking up next to a clone of that crazy hair lady you run into at the grocery store on Saturday mornings.

More funny pictures

This blog is going to turn into my comments about funny pictures I take. Are you familiar with "Veggie Tales"? It's a Christian cartoon and I don't think that "Dave and the Giant Pickle" is really an appropriate title for one of their videos. But pretty freakin' hilarious.

Hormones - for those who are interested

So I got my hormone blood test back (saliva test is another option) and I am normal. Yay! My FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) is on the edge which means "yes my eggs are getting old". So now the decision is...do I get back on birth control pills?

Banana Biscotti and Nosy People

Does this look appetizing? It's a Banana Biscotti from un-named grocery store (you know where). Honestly it looks like a really big cat turd.

Sorry I haven't written in awhile. I've been busy with work and dealing with some health stuff.

When did it become appropriate for friends (not close friends) to ask you if you have had sex with the new guy yet? Really? And how do you answer that question without sounding like you are justifying why you haven't had sex yet? Do I ask them how often they have sex with their husbands? No.... And I won't be posting it on Facebook either. Don't wait for the day when my status says "Hey the new guy and I just did it....pictures to follow!". I was remiss to even mention him to any of my friends because I knew I would get all the questions. So for now...my lips are sealed.

Magazine at my workplace

Here I am walking through Whole Foods and this catches my eye. I love where I work!

Road Rage in Austin

I really need to just get this out there. I'm amazed how poorly people drive in this town and how it is so freakin' obvious that most of the Austin drivers out there are on auto pilot.

1. Why do people brake when there is no one in front of them?

2. Why do people brake before they get into the turn lane? I can understand if there is someone already there but jeez, get in the turn lane and then break.

3. People who stop in traffic to allow others to turn left in front of them from a cross street. This is probably the most dangerous move out there.

4.. The drivers that forget the school zone has ended and continue to drive 20. Okay let's just chat a bit about slow drivers. Really? Why do you have a car if you are going to drive that slow?? You could possibly walk faster, ride your bike faster....

5. And to those drivers who want to move into another lane....Hey lady! yes you, the one who was on the South Lamar Bridge this morning, in the left lane, wanting to move over into the right lane. You had no cars in front of you so you had been sitting there for awhile with your blinker on (thank you for the blinker). So I honk at you to let you know "hey, move your ass over" and you pause - yes pause....and I guess you are thinking about moving over? Isn't that what you wanted to do? So you move over and I wait......no thank you wave! And of course you are on the phone. I regretted being a friendly Texas driver today.


And lastly...on my way home from work, I sit at the light at Manchaca and Slaughter. There is an HEB to the right and there is always some yahoo that wants to turn left out of the parking lot onto Manchaca. And please note people, there is a light to turn left onto Slaughter from the HEB parking lot that would probably get you to your destination faster and safer. Use it! So the traffic backs up at that light at rush hour every day to allow these left turn people to do their thing.

One day I'm sitting there and this big ole' truck in front of me is sitting about a car lengths from the car in front of it. I'm thinking he is waiting to let one of the cars from the HEB exit in front him. Now let me add a bit more to the picture...I'm in line in that critical spot...the one where when the light turns green, that if everyone ahead of you cooperates, we can get a big group of us through the light. So the light turns green. Mr Big Truck hesitates and then....wait for it....decides to turn right!!! So not only did this affect how many of us made it through the light...he could have turned right at any point while we were sitting there. He had a clear right turn lane just sitting there waiting for him.

If I could have, I would have pulled him over and bitch slapped him.

40 and Single

Child-less, single, old maid, cat lady, cougar and "you are still single?"......these words rumble around in my head. Alot. Probably because they get reinforced daily. Look at Jennifer Aniston. Thank god my life isn't on public display like hers is.

I used to play Bunco with a group of married women. Each month the question would come up "Are you dating anyone?". "You are such a great catch" they would say, "I don't know why you aren't married yet!". Out of frustration one night I said "if I had known at 20 that I would still be single at age 40, I would have worked much harder at finding someone!". That seemed to shut them up for a bit.

At the end of January I decided to go off birth control pills to get my hormones tested. I was told at age 35 that my hormones were a bit off. No one could tell me if I was pre-menopausal or not. But the nurse practitioner said "if you want to have children, I would do so by age 40". I guess your eggs just shrivel up and die at 40. Nothing like a little bit of pressure.

So in a few months I will take the saliva test. I get to spit into a container every other day for a month and I will have a true picture of what my hormones are doing for that month. Why am I going through this? I really want to know if it is possible for me to have kids are not. I want to know the option is still there. You need options. You don't want someone to say "I have bananas and bananas". You want apples, oranges, grapefruit....choices.

So what is next if my hormones are good? Well I know that option is on the table. I also know that I'm fortunate enough to be able to adopt a child if I want to. Or I can choose to not have children and just have a bunch of cats and dogs (goats, chickens etc...). I would also be perfectly happy to meet someone who has children already and be a great stepmom.

Now about meeting someone... Finding a good man is a whole other blog. I know I feel the pressure to find a boyfriend but when you do meet someone, what is the pressure like for them? You want to shield them from it at first. Keep them from your outside group of friends. Not your inside circle, they know what it is like. Your friends are dying for you to meet someone. "Come on, be married like the rest of us!" They think because you are 40 that you only need about 6 months and then you can get married and then get pregnant. Boom! Instant Family! In a box with a bow. But I don't want to rush it. I really want to get to know someone. I want to be able to date someone for 3 months and then say "you know, that just isn't what I wanted". That was okay at 25, why can't it be okay now?

I look at my parents and think "how did it happen to them?". They met in college, fell in love, got married. Boom! Instant Family! I should be thankful they did or I wouldn't be here. My mom had career goals Getting married was not on her list. I thought I would go to college, meet a guy, get married and have kids. I wasn't really planning on finishing college. But it didn't' work out that way. But I wouldn't change how my life has progressed. When I do get married I am going to make a great wife. I've had all this time to watch my friends: their successes and mistakes.

So stay tuned...I will definitely let you know how my test turns out. And if you have any older, single friends. Give them a break. When they have good news about their love life, they will share it. All in good time......

Animal humor

So my friend Ruth is fostering this dog named Ben. He has been through quite an ordeal with his previous owner (like 4 surgeries after eating a towel). When Ruth received the dog she got all his medical records. One thing that popped out was the previous owner had taken the dog to the vet because his penis seemed to be stuck in the excited state. The vet told her it was "a stress induced hard-on". Really??? Men, does this happen to you as well? We women want to know!

Latest Documentary and the gym

Okay I'm behind on this blog thing. I have really great ideas but bad follow through.



Yesterday I watched "The Real Dirt on Farmer John". This doc was released in 2006 so I'm a bit behind in watching it. After watching it I realized I wanted more information on how they sustain their farm today. The film did a great job at roping me into this farmer's story but I felt it covered too much and maybe should have narrowed it's focus a bit. I definitely recommend it to anyone that is interested in farming and organics.



And now a side note....I went back to the gym yesterday after not working out for a month. Now I haven't been a complete couch potato., I still walk my dog most every day.

My trainer Alex was sort of easy on me but he still pushed me. After my bout with rhabdomylosis last year my muscles shake way more than they used to. It is actually kind of funny. Towards the end of my workout I noticed a very attractive girl in the trainer area. I made some mention to my trainer about her and he said "oh yeah her (very casually like he hadn't ever noticed her)...I think she used to be a gymnast". So after my workout I was telling my trainer a story while I was signing my log. Little miss perfect butt interrupts us "Do you have a pen?". So my trainer hands over his pen. I go back to my story. "Do you have a piece of paper?". So he finds a piece of paper to hand her. And again..."Do you have a baseball?". She then proceeds to completely ignore the fact that I was talking to my trainer (who I pay by the way missy) and says "do you see this knot on my thigh..I just can't work it out". She then proceeds to flex her non-cellulite thigh for him to see said knot. I just walked away. Next time I go to the gym I'm bringing my baseball........

Back at Work

Let me just say I love my co-workers. Just had a conversation happen at my desk about "soft core lady porn" (thanks Sean for the name). My co-worker Lady X is into these soft core porn books (www.jrward.com) and was telling us about her private group on goodreads.com. Sean is thinking he can write one of these novels. Go for it!

And then lovely Jessie told us about inlaw-ism #412....see her in-laws come to visit each year from England. And they do have some odd ways. Lovely people..... But #412 is when they re-use paper plates. Jessie went to the cabinet this morning to get a paper plate and it was a used one. Ewwww! More to come from the British in-laws I'm sure.

It is hard to get back into the swing of things after being off work for a week. Course it didn't help that some bee-atch was on my ass this morning on Lamar. I guess because she drives a Mercedes SUV, she is allowed to go much faster than the rest of us. She did appear to be very young and I'm sure her daddy bought her that car.

Heard on the radio this morning that news reports are stating that Mike Meyers is coming out of the closet. Wow was all I had to say!

Till next time....

SXSW - Day 6

I'm a bit late ... my air conditioning broke last night but it is fixed now. Yay!

I just saw one film last night the documentary "The Eyes of Me". It was about students at the Texas School for the Blind. It was an adequate documentary but I really would have liked to learn more about the school, how they educate the students and how they learn to cope with every day life. It did focus on 4 individuals and it was well done, it just left me wanting more substance.

I start work again tomorrow and I only have one more film on the agenda for Saturday - "500 Days of Summer" with Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who is one of my favorite young actors. You might remember him from "Third Rock from the Sun".

For all you out there enjoying the music part of SXSW - more power to you!

SXSW - Day 4 and 5

Sorry folks, I am behind. The sun got the best of me today.

Monday night I saw "Sunshine", a great documentary about adoption, being a single mom and how families are not typical these days. Very well done considering the film was about the filmmaker.

Today I saw the documentary called "Over the Hills and Far Away" about a family's journey to "heal" their child of autism. The editing of this doc was exceptional. I'm still amazed at the story and how this husband and wife have dealt with their child's autism. Considering the rise of this condition, I agree that people with autism need to be incorporated into society, should be regarded for their exceptional abilities and that there need to be more resources to help the families and those with autism cope. This family was mainly concerned with their child's tantrums and lack of potty training. After meeting with shaman's in Mongolia their child was able to overcome these problems and even though he is not cured, he functions better in normal society (whatever normal is). Website is : www.horseboymovie.com/ This film will make it to theatres and PBS. Interesting side note: Sacha Baron Cohen's cousin is a leading Autistic researcher in England and was one of the experts in the doc.

Tonight I saw "The Last Beekeeper". This documentary was about the slow decline of honey bees in the US. Quite depressing as these bees play a vital role in the polination of almond trees.

Well tomorrow the music madness begins so I'll be avoiding downtown at all costs.

SXSW - Day 4

Broken little toe aside (stupid laptop on the floor)....so far today I saw the doc "Garbage Dreams". www.garbagedreams.com

The documentary was about the Zaballeen - Egypt's garbage people. It is amazing how much trash you see everywhere in the streets of Egypt. And the Zaballeen recycle more than any other country. Two of them went to Wales to see how they recycle and were surprised at the small bits of plastic and glass that end up in the landfill that they would recycle. One of the Zaballeen Adham was at the screening. He would like to start his own can recycling company but of course needs the money to do so as large trash companies from other countries have come in and taken over the trash business and created huge landfills.

Sat next to an interesting woman....Sharon Drew Morgen. Here is her website: http://sharondrewmorgen.com/index.htm

She highly recommends the doc "Trimpin". Last showing is on Friday so I hope to catch it.

One of the Top Shows on TV

If you haven't been watching it....check out the first season of "Breaking Bad" on AMC and then catch up on Season 2. This show is awesome!

SXSW - Day 3

Good evening! The sun came out today. Yay!







Today I saw a documentary called "Sons of a Gun" about a group of 4 men, not related, that live together as a family. The "dad" is an alcoholic and owes the IRS more than a million dollars and the "sons" are 3 schizophrenic men. Brought home the point that you do not have to be related to a group of people to be a family. Also there are way more mentally ill people in the US than there are proper homes or facilities.

Before that I saw "True Adolescents" by Craig Johnson starring Mark Duplass and Melissa Leo. This was Craig's first feature film and he definitely has promise. Mark Duplass is one of my favorite indie actors. You might remember him from "The Puffy Chair"or "Hannah Takes the Stairs". The picture is a bit blurry but from the left are Bret Loehr, Carr Thompson, Craig Johnson and Mark Duplass. Wonderful film. well acted...so far this film and "Moon" are my top two.

Oh and some great music in that movie as well. The Blakes and Band of Horses.

Day 2 - SXSW

Let me just say, I'm at home wrapped up in my electric blanket. The Paramount was the same temperature as the outside. Sunshine will be much welcomed tomorrow.

Definite highlight of the night was seeing "Moon" and Sam Rockwell. He finally made it to SXSW. "Moon" was directed and written by Duncan Jones (son of David Bowie). Interesting story, great acting by Sam Rockwell and looked more expensive than what they spent. Basically Sam plays the lone employee of a moon base station whose only companion is GERTY a robot (voice by Kevin Spacey).

Next movie was "Alexander the Last" by Joe Swanberg. It is his fifth movie at SXSW in 5 years and it not only premiered tonight at SXSW, you can catch it on IFC's Festival Direct via On Demand. (http://www.ifcfilms.com/) I've enjoyed all of the Joe Swanburg films I've seen. He worked with professional actors this time. Jess Weixler of "Teeth" (which I have on my Netflix), Amy Seimetz and Barlow Jacobs. First Swanberg film I've seen where there hasn't been male frontal nudity. As my friend Sven said "I've seen more male frontal nudity with you than any other person".

One recurring theme during this year's festival is bird poop. Friday night I found my car covered in bird poop, I mean covered. Had to stop at a Chevron at 1am to go through the car wash. Tonight I looked down at my jacket and there was a tiny bit of bird poop. I think I have been christened enough.

Tomorrow I'll post a pic of Sam Rockwell if it turns out. Now it is time to sleep.

SXSW Friday - Opening Night

Welcome to my blog!

First movie I saw was "The 2 Bobs". I'll say this....it was filmed in Austin and if you can make it through, the ending is better than the beginning and middle.

Next I waited in the cold and wet (uh, it's Austin in March...I need sunshine!) to see "ExTerminators". Jennifer Coolidge played the straight character well and this chick flick had some of the best one liners I have heard in a long time. A must see for any one that has been burned by an ex. Amber Heard (who has a ton of films in pre-production) is so striking. That black hair and pale skin. Why is Heather Graham so forgettable these days?

Some comments about the attendees at SXSW Film (these were all fellow SXSW'ers at "ExTerminators"):

1. Turn off the tones on your phone so when you are texting during the Q&A.
2. Hey jerk who was on the phone during the Q&A, take it outside.
3. And guy who was snoring during the beginning of the movie, just be glad I wasn't sitting next to you.

So far so good. I'm disappointed there are no SX shorts at the beginnings of the films. Where is Kent Osbourne when you need him?